Ramble: Things I Don't Understand About Various Fandoms

[missmaverick]

1. BtVS; Spike/Xander
This rather large section of the Buffy fandom baffles me. This entire pairing seem to be hinged on one particular exchange of snappy banter, and then, de nada. The whole Buffy mythos-thingy is very 'we <3 girls and especially extra-super-special bendy pouty ones with daddy/abandonment issues that we totally aren't sexualizing for the sake of ratings' and the (admittedly small) sample of S/X fic I've read feels like the pairing was built upon more abstract slashiness than great actor chemistry or glaring subtext. But who am I to talk? I've shipped weirder and for less reason in the past (see: Jo Harvelle/John Winchester (SPN), and Higurashi Kagome/Yoko Kurama (which aren't even from the same goddamn fandom))
MY QUESTION: Is there a Spike/Xander 'ship manifesto? Can someone link it to me please? And possibly better examples of S/X fic?

2. SPN; fandom weirdness
Okay, this is less real question and more informal poll for people not in the Supernatural fandom: on a scale of 'Pleasantly Quirky' to 'Keep Those Freaks Away From Me', how would you grade SPN fandom? Being both a long-time fan of the show and a denizen of this and the related J2 fandom, I've become so desensitized to the crazy that it takes full-scale fan riots to garner a reaction anymore. But reading this list on ontd has aroused my curiousity on the subject. In particular, this video:

I thought it was just poking fun at a lot of things the show tends to fall back on (Sam's bitchface, Dean smirking, etc.) in a silly, engaging way. But people (read: the commenters, such an utter joy to read, I think I'm gonna go rage-vomit.) seem to be taking it as something akin to flashing people in a public park. Thoughts? Comments? Snide remarks?
ETA: I went to fandom_wank to indulge in a little therapeutic schadenfreude; suffice to say, I think I get where ontd is getting it from now. *sadface* what a bummer.